Friday, August 5, 2011

Read this! Good information about food spoilage (with tongue in cheek)

DH shared this with me this afternoon.  It came from Chef Paul Kirk and was published in the "Bullsheet" paper for the Kansas City Barbecue Association.  It's well worth the read!

FOOD SPOILAGE TEST AND EXPIRATION DATES

This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries.  Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

MEAT:
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

BREAD:
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.  Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

FLOUR:
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

SALT:
It never spoils.

LETTUCE:
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet.  Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.

CANNED GOODS:
Any canned good that have become the size or shape of a soft ball should be disposed of. Carefully.

CARROTS:
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

RAISINS:
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

POTATOES:
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy under growth.

CHIP DIP:
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

EMPTY CONTAINERS:
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

UNMARKED ITEMS:
You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food.  Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you  open them.

6 comments:

Delo said...

Thanks for passing this along. I got a good laugh out of it.

Vanessa said...

That's hilarious! I think I'm guilty of all except one--putting empty containers back. My family does that one for me.

Flamenco92627/ Julieta said...

Haha! Good rules!!

Ann said...

Too Funny! My daughter was visiting her grandfather when he informed her that her cat had "peed" on his kitchen floor. She went to clean it up and thought it smelled suspiciously like pineapple juice. Opening a cabinet door, she found pineapple slices slipping out of a burst tin can. I would say they must have been kept WAY past expiration date (LOL).

Linda said...

When I was a kid my dad hated Tupperware containers in the fridge. He never could tell what was in them and he said all they were good for was putting food inside until you were ready to toss it in the trash!

Carolyn/MamaC said...

Oh, how I can identify with these! LOL!! I think I have seen some of these signs at my house!
Carolyn
http://cccscraproom.blogspot.com